


Ik hou van u

by liefde



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liefde/pseuds/liefde
Summary: Jan has been smitten with Mousa since the moment they first met.-This is the story of how Jan and Mousa became friends, and then became something more.





	1. 8 years old

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this fic in my drafts for ages. I've also wanted to write this one since forever, because they need a fic like this, and I felt like this was the right day to finally upload it. Mousa's goodbye (but not goodbye, his words) video with Jan made me emotional, so I just had to upload the first chapter of this fic.

**8 years old**

 

Jan is eight years old when his parents encourage him to go to a football training in Antwerp.

At first, he doesn't want to; he's scared of the other people that will be there, the city boys that are already friends, and he'll be on his own - the little boy from the countryside. "You'll make friends, Jantje", his mother says with a smile, "they will like you!"

In the end, he agrees to go. He likes football way too much - and if he wants to play at a big club one day, he'll have to make new friends too!

His parents go to the training with him, and he holds his mother's hand even tighter when he sees the city boys standing together. He was right about them, it seems.

"Hello, little man!", the coach says with a big smile and Jan feels a little less scared after that. His dad grabs a ball and starts playing with him to make him feel at ease - there's nothing that makes him feel calmer than a football- and before he knows it, there's someone standing next to him.

"Hey, you want to play with us?", the dark-skinned boy asks him and Jan is over the moon. It's one of the cool city boys he saw before! A city boy asked him to play with them!

He looks at his mom and dad and they just smile proudly at him. Jan happily follows the boy to his friends.

They all play together until the coach puts them into teams to play around a bit, not an actual match but just a few games, and Jan discovers the other boy is called Mousa. He's never heard that name before, but he likes it better than his own ordinary name. He likes Mousa.

Then the coach decides they have to choose a partner, and Jan is glad that Mousa's already smiling at him before he smiles at Mousa. They kick the ball to each other for a while, then Mousa shows off his dribbling skills and Jan already knows he'll never be as good as the other boy at that. He's amazing.

It doesn't go that well in the end. The little training is almost finished when they shoot a bit, and Jan's first ball collides with Mousa's face.

"Mousa!", Jan yells when he sees the other boy touching his cheek. The other city boys have seen it all happening and they're now running towards them.

"Did you hit him with your ball?", the biggest boy asks and he looks so mean that Jan wants to crawl into a hole.

"I didn't do it on purpose, I swear!", he says with tears in his eyes and apologizes. He wants to say something to Mousa but another bigger boy quickly stands between them.

"Go away!", he yells and Jan runs to the sideline as fast as he can, to the save arms of his mom and dad. They look at him, confused and his dad picks him up from the ground to give him a comforting hug.

"What happened, Jantje?", his mother asks and Jan starts sobbing into his father's arm.

"I just want to leave, I don't want to play here. Can I please play at home?", he says, voice muffled.

He takes one last look at Mousa, who's looking at him with a sad look on his face and he quickly averts his eyes. Mousa was the only nice boy, all the others were so mean!

Jan is glad he never has to see them again, but he is going to miss Mousa. Making friends isn't easy at all, but losing a new potential friend sucks even harder.

Fortunately, fate won't let that happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when the next chapter will be uploaded, since I'm still working on this fic. Thank you for reading!


	2. 12 years old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really glad that this fic is liked, thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos!! Here's the next chapter :D

**12 years old**

 

Jan is twelve years old when he sees Mousa again.

It’s been four years, but he would recognize that face anywhere. The face of the boy he accidentally smacked with a football. Mousa, his potential friend. He wonders if Mousa remembers him as well.

He probably doesn’t. City boys have more important people to hang out with, the other city boys of course. They walk around the streets, playing football together and telling cool stories. They don’t play in a friend’s garden, like Jan and his friends are only allowed to do. He wishes he could play in the streets like the cool guys. He wishes he could play with Mousa.

The coach at his local town club says he would make a great defender. Jan plays as a midfielder and he isn't bad obviously, but he knows he can do better, and his position might have something to do with that. He has a lot of potential, and a football scout brought him to Germinal Beerschot, the biggest club close to his hometown.

He isn't surprised that Mousa is also there. It's quite logical, actually. He knows Mousa joined the Antwerp club they both went to when they were eight, and it's only logical that a scout has seen him do the dribble thing. He knows he won't be a midfielder for long when he sees Mousa easily slipping past two defenders, with his phenomenal technique.

Mousa notices him when they're standing in one line for warm-up. He gets a small smile, and since when does Mousa look like a proper boy? Jan looks like a little kid with his red hair, and Mousa looks strong with his tan skin and powerful dribble. He now kind of regrets that he didn't sign up for the Antwerp club with their great coach and training drills, that he let himself be scared away by those dumb city boys. He regrets it kind of a lot.

Mousa smiles at Jan again and walks towards him. Jan's brain doesn't know what to do, so he just stands there. Does Mousa actually want to have a conversation with him? And how is he even going to keep that conversation alive?

"I think you're that boy who successfully attacked my face, right?", Mousa says seriously when he stands next to Jan. Getting abducted by some aliens doesn't sound like a bad idea at the moment.

"Well, I didn't plan it obviously, and I know I still haven't properly apologized or explained anything, but those guys just didn't let me and I swear -", Jan keeps talking and blushing and Mousa can't handle it anymore.

"Hey, it's fine, Jan", he says and Jan is so glad he still remembers his name, "I only have this scar on my forehead because of it, but it's okay."

Jan's eyes almost bulge out of their sockets and he doesn't even dare look when Mousa pushes his curls away to reveal his scar.

But there is no scar of course, and Mousa's dead serious face suddenly changes and he starts laughing. Jan – who feels incredibly relieved and really dumb at the same time – can’t help but laugh too.

"How could you even believe that!", Mousa says when he smacks Jan's shoulder, "as if that's even possible! Your face was worth a million!"

Jan blushes and looks away. "You are so mean", he says and smiles at Mousa. They throw an arm around each other's shoulders, and Jan knows fate has given them another chance. He's going to take it with both his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, tell me what you think if you want to :)


	3. 16 years old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllooooo! Yes, this story is still alive! I just had zero motivation to write, then finally got over it, and rewrote the draft of this chapter. I hope it's decent enough :D

**16 years old**

  
Jan is sixteen years old when he realizes he likes Mousa more than just a friend.

They've been playing football together since that one day when they were twelve years old, and it's quite obvious that Jan and Mousa are something else.

Jan absolutely loves spending time with Mousa, on and off the pitch. They aren't exactly best friends or anything, but they meet up sometimes for a game of football at each other's house and then chill a bit together afterwards. Jan loves hanging out with Mousa, but loathes it at the same time, because of that stupid thing his body does whenever Mousa smiles at him or throws an arm around his shoulder. He hopes his friend has never noticed it.

Jan doesn't know what is happening to him. All his friends are talking about girls and he just goes along with it, telling how pretty that girl in the other class is and laughing at another girl's joke. He doesn't think that they're dumb or ugly, he just doesn't care at all. He thinks it might have something to do with the fact that they aren't Mousa Dembélé.

And it sucks. Because he knows that Mousa doesn't feel the same way about him, and he's never ever going to tell anyone about his feelings. He can't ruin his friendship with Mousa and possible football career just because he likes a boy.

Maybe it's just Mousa, and not other boys. But he knows he's only kidding himself. His older brother's friend stood naked in their bathroom one time and Jan had accidentally opened the door and he just hadn’t been able to keep that picture out of his head for days.

He does like girls too, they're pretty and all. But not pretty like Mousa. And he knows Mousa is objectively pretty, he's heard the girls of his school talk about him. They talk about the cute dark-skinned boy who can dribble like a professional and looks amazing (while doing it and not). The girls have even asked Jan for Mousa's address, and he just gave a fake one (he doesn’t want his friend getting stalked - and he may be a little jealous too).

Mousa laughed when he'd told him that. He wasn't interested in them, and Jan felt kind of pathetic because of the wave of relief that had gone through him. Mousa never talks about girls anyway, the only girl Jan ever heard Mousa talking about was his sister. But still, Jan was a bit jealous because of those girls, and he doesn't really know why. Maybe the thought of Mousa spending so much time with someone else that he'd forget about Jan scared him.

And that wouldn't get better, because Ajax offered Jan a contract. Ajax, the club he'd dreamed of playing for since he'd been old enough to hold a football. But playing for Ajax means leaving Belgium, which also means leaving Mousa.

He asks his parents if he can call Mousa’s home, to ask him whether they can meet up now or not. He doesn't want to go to Amsterdam without telling to Mousa first.

Mousa’s mom picks up the phone, greeting Jan excitedly and telling him that he needs to come over and stay for dinner soon. He hears Mousa’s voice in the background, telling his mom to let him talk to Jan and she quickly says goodbye to him. Jan smiles and mentally reminds himself to be cool.

"Hey Mous", he says and Mousa laughs.

"Hey Jan!", he replies excitedly and Jan just grins because of hearing his friend's voice.

“Can I come over?”, he asks quickly, wanting to get over with it.

“Yeah, sure. I'm free”, Mousa says and Jan hears a voice yelling in the back, probably his mother.

“Okay. See you soon then, I'm coming by bike.”

Mousa snickers and Jan makes a questioning noise at that. He became a pro at teasing Mousa over the years, so he's not used to being on the receiving end of a teasing snicker.

“You'll arrive in two hours then. You can't drive a bike, you're as slow as a snail!”, Mousa says and laughs loudly.

Jan rolls his eyes, huffs and hangs up. This boy.

He takes his bike out of the garage, says goodbye to his parents and drives as quickly as possible to Mousa’s house. He even tries to go faster than normal, just to prove Mousa that he can, in fact, drive a bicycle.

It only takes him ten minutes, and he's quite proud of himself. He rings Mousa’s doorbell, but then feels a ball hitting the back of his leg and when he turns around he comes face to face with a very happy Mousa.

“Hey! I think you beat your personal record!”

Jan shrugs casually but blushes at Mousa noticing it. He's a fool.

“Let's go sit on the swings. I'll grab some sweets and drinks”, Mousa says and Jan follows him into the garden. Mousa's house isn't as big as his, living way closer to the city. But he loves it, it's cosy and you can feel the love everywhere.

He takes a seat on one of the swings in the garden and starts thinking about the best way to tell Mousa he's going to move to the Netherlands. He doesn't have much time to think about it, because a few seconds later his friend is already coming out of the house with a big bowl, filled to the brim with sweets.

“My parents just left to go shopping in the city, and my sister is hanging out at her boyfriend’s place. So we have the place to ourselves, Jantje”, Mousa says with a cheeky grin. Jan blushes like a madman at that statement and the nickname.

He kicks the grass under his feet and swings in the air. He feels like a child again, happy and careless and without silly feelings for anyone.

"Wait, I'll push you. That's way nicer, isn't it?", Mousa says with a laugh and Jan nods. He hops off his swing, and Jan immediately feels two strong hands on his back. He lets out a very manly giggle at the feeling of being pushed like a little kid and then they suddenly start laughing.

"This reminds me of when I was little, my friends and I always used to play this game of who could go the highest, or who dared to jump off as late as possible."

Mousa hums and pushes Jan until he is as high as possible and the swings start making this weird noise that makes both their eyes grow big.

"Don't want to break your legs, Jantje! Remember, we're going to play for our national team, and I can't do it on my own", Mousa says half-jokingly, and Jan can't help but look a bit sad at that comment. And of course Mousa - the boy that always notices every little thing that's going on - notices it.

"Jan?", he asks and the look on his face is one of pure confusion. Jan doesn't like it at all, he can already hear his heart crushing slowly and he hasn't even told anything yet.

"Mous, there's something I need to tell you", he admits and Mousa looks kind of scared. He hops off the swing and throws his arm around Mousa's shoulder, trying to let it sound a bit better: "It's nothing bad, I promise. It's just..."

He drops his arm and sits down on the grass, patting the space next to him so Mousa understands that Jan wants him to sit next to him.

"Ajax wants me", he says promptly and sees the smile on Mousa's face falter just a little. And now his heart breaks in so many pieces he feels numb.

"Jan", Mousa begins, “I don't know what to say. I'm so excited for you, because wow, it's Ajax! You've dreamt of playing for Ajax since you were a little kid. But I just thought we were going to play together forever you know, and I don't want to make you feel bad or guilt trip you, but it's just... I'm going to miss you a lot. A lot. So you absolutely can't ditch me, you know that! Promise me you'll call me?"

Jan doesn't know what to say. He's never heard Mousa say that much in one go. He's laughing but feels like crying at the same time. This is why Mousa is his friend and teammate, and why he gets on with him so well.

"Of course I won't drop you, you fool!", he says and hugs Mousa tightly, his face in the other boy's neck and he smells of grass and football and that perfume he once jokingly had brought to training (why is Mousa even wearing that now) and home and just Mousa.

"I'm really going to miss you. Also, can I sell your hair at an auction when you're famous?", Mousa asks jokingly and Jan stops hugging him for a moment so he can look at his friend.

"Yes, you can, stupid", he replies and grins, "but you'll have to be able to get one first."

"Easy, Jantje", Mousa says with a grin and moves his hand to Jan's hair. Jan laughs and instead of pulling one of his friend's hairs out, Mousa moves his hand a bit lower so it lies on Jan's neck. Jan's frozen at the spot, he absolutely has no idea what to do. What is even happening, is Mousa going to - forgive him for even considering it - kiss him?

He's never been kissed before, but he's seen it a few times at parties and on television too, of course. But he's never experienced it himself. His heart rate is going up, his pulse is elevated and he can see all the little golden specks in Mousa's dark brown eyes, only making his heart beat even faster.

Mousa's lips touch his lips before he even realizes it, and they're so soft he might cry. His own sand-paper lips must feel horrible, he thinks. He doesn't even know how to do this properly, he just lets himself be kissed by Mousa before he actually responds by moving his own lips.

His friend's hand is still lying in his neck, so Jan decides to mirror Mousa's actions by moving his own hand to his best friend’s soft brown curls and tugging lightly at them. Mousa makes this noise that goes straight to his groin and he can't help but laugh against Mousa's lips.

"Jan, not now", Mousa says and starts laughing too, and then quickly steals another kiss from Jan by pressing his lips to the corner of the other boy's mouth.

They're both silent for a while, just lying on the grass, Mousa's head resting on Jan's stomach and Jan playing with the tufts of Mousa's chocolate brown curls. He's in love with Mousa's hair, he's in love with everything about Mousa. And thinking about that reminds him of the fact that he's going to move to the Netherlands, a good two-hour drive away.

"So... your parents are coming back soon?", Jan asks and he doesn't really want to, but he knows this moment can't go on forever.

"Probably", Mousa replies with closed eyes and then turns around, hovering slowly over Jan's body and laughing.

"I should probably go then...", Jan says and Mousa nods.

"See you in Amsterdam, then?", Mousa asks when they stand up and walk to Jan's bicycle.

Jan grins and hugs Mousa one last time before they say goodbye and when he cycles out of Mousa's street, he looks back at his friend's house. He sees Mousa waving and he almost collides with the curb like the lovesick idiot he is.

Mousa Dembélé kissed him. Mousa!

Does Mousa like him too? Maybe he likes him, but it just feels as if he just kissed him because today is the last time they're going to see each other in a long time.

It confuses him so much. What does this mean? Why couldn't Mousa just say why he kissed him? They're probably never going to talk about this ever again. And especially not because he's going to live in the Netherlands for at least two years, until he's eighteen. Maybe they will never even see each other again. Maybe he won't ditch Mousa but maybe Mousa will ditch Jan.

He can't think about it like that. Mousa isn't that kind of person, and Jan isn’t either.

And maybe his time in the Netherlands will help him get over these stupid feelings that aren't reciprocated in the way he wants.


	4. 18 years old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Champion's League final is so close, so I decided to upload this one. Maybe it'll be a lucky charm, who knows :D
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter!

**18 years old**

Jan is eighteen years old when Mousa comes to the Netherlands.

Making the decision to join Ajax has probably been the best thing he’s done in his whole life. His time in Amsterdam has been amazing: he's made new friends, finally became a defender and he managed to get over the feelings he had for Mousa in the meantime. And he better stay over them, because he is together with his girlfriend Sophie now. And Mousa has found a lovely girlfriend too, called Naomi.

They didn't really talk about the kiss anymore, just like Jan had thought. They are never going to talk about it - and that's probably for the best. He can't imagine pining that hard after Mousa anymore, plus he has a girlfriend who wouldn't be amused if she'd discover he had still been thinking about someone else while he met her.

Mousa and Jan have done a great job of keeping in touch with each other over the past two years, their relationship actually becoming stronger than ever before. Jan lived with an Amsterdam guest family, making it easy for them to meet up in the city a few times. And on the phone, Mousa always told him stories about Antwerp, and Jan always talked about some stuff that happened at Ajax. And they still laughed a lot about things that had happened between them when they were younger, like the stupid scar and the city boys. Nothing about the kiss though, unsurprisingly.

His career had gotten a huge boost too. Jan quickly became the rising star of Ajax, winning the hearts of all their supporters.

He got promoted to the first team, gaining his first official loan when he was 18. And when he was 19, he decided it was time to stop bothering his guest family and move out. The team fixed a house in the quiet outskirts of Amsterdam and he'd moved a couple of months ago.

And now Mousa was already moving in next to him. That wasn't a coincidence, of course. He'd very enthusiastically recommended the empty house next to him when Mousa had called him some time ago.

"What would you think about me living in Amsterdam?", Mousa had asked, and Jan hadn't understood what Mousa had said at first, thinking it was his hopeful mind making something up.

"What do you mean, Mous?", he'd asked and Mousa had laughed (Jan loved hearing that laugh, it always cheered him up) and chuckled.

"I mean that I signed a contract with a club close to Amsterdam, Jantje!", he'd said excitedly and Jan had been silent for a moment.

"Mous! Really? That's amazing!", he'd practically yelled into Mousa's ear and laughed, "we're going to have so much fun!"

That call from Mousa came two months ago, and his best friend is officially (and finally) moving in today.

And then the doorbell rings. He suddenly feels like he's eaten way too much sugar. Come on, he thinks. It's only Mousa. He goes to open the door and quickly puts his hand through his hair in an attempt to not look so damn flushed - and then Mousa is standing right in front of him.

He's grinning, of course, like he always does when Jan is near.

"Hello neighbour", Mousa says in that hoarse voice of his and Jan practically jumps on him. He hugs Mousa so tightly it must hurt and whispers: "I've missed you so much."

“Me too Jantje, me too”, he whispers back and softly rubs Jan’s back.

When they've disentangled themselves from each other, Mousa follows Jan into his living room and looks around, a little bit in awe. “Quite the place you've got here!”, he says and Jan hums in agreement. “I'm glad that we're professional football players, and our clubs can afford to rent a place like this.”

“As if you're that poor!’, Mousa says and laughs. Jan shakes his head and says: “No, but they don't pay the furniture and I desperately want a new car!”

“You're already becoming one of those typical footballers”, Mousa says jokingly and rolls his eyes.

“Never. I’ve got you to keep me with my two feet on the ground, right?”, Jan says with a small smirk and Mousa nods.

"Of course. And I'm not leaving you any time soon, just so you know. You're stuck with me for the long run."

Jan blushes a bit at that smiles. "You're stuck with me too. Unless Tottenham wants me, but it's not like that's going to happen anytime soon", he says and laughs.

"You'd be surprised at the number of clubs that are eager to get their hands on you", Mousa says seriously and the blush on Jan's cheeks gets even darker.

"Shut up", Jan says lightly, "the only one who can get their hands on me is you."

"You shut up", Mousa says and lets out a fond laugh.

Jan knows that his joke didn't really sound like a joke, at least not to him. Maybe thinking that he was completely over Mousa was a bit too optimistic after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter!
> 
> (& I desperately wanted to update today because I'm so hyped!!!! C'mon Spurs, Mousa and I are supporting hihi!!)


End file.
